<> After the power going out on me last night, I decided to hit the sack and go to bed early. There was no other option. Everything had shut down on us, and I was left bord to death, but extrememly tired, so I went to bed. I ended up going to bed at about 8:30ish, almost 9pm. Woke up today at about 5:30am because Ron's alarm clock was too damn loud man. The sound Ron's alarm clock was coming from the living room, and I can hear it from the bedroom. Ron seemed very sincere dismorning, now, I don't know whether or not he was just trying to get on the better side of things, or if he was just pretending to be sincere to solidify the marriage; which I personally think it's wrong, because he is confusing me even more and I am at the point where I truly give up. I don't want out of this relationship. But, I will not tolerate him treating me the way he had treated Kim B. He literally waited for Kim to cheat on him before dumping her. He didn't even care about the poor girl, nor spent time with her, or even acknowledged her, therefore, I really cannot blame her for cheating on Ron. Ron being the dominant person he truly is, could care less about you, and would fall out of love for you, but will stay around because he doesn't want to make himself look like the bad person or a fool for that matter. He tries so hard to create such a great image for himself, or create a good portfolio for himself, which is really not going to work by behaving that way. Men and trying to understand him. Obviously, he is confused with our relationship, he doesn't know exactly what he wants until it is no longer attainable. Why is that? Should I even remain to live with him? I know I will only be hurting myself by being and staying in his home, but, how do learn to let someone you love go? You just learn too! <> <!--7:11:00 PM-->
<> Here reads today's horoscope for Libra's. Mind you I don't really believe in horoscopes, because each one of us creates our own definition and destiny for ourselves, and that what makes each of us unique in our very own ways. I just like reading my horoscopes for the fun of it and for the sake of it being here for us to read. I have created my own destiny yesterday, abiding with a contract on self-reflection. As of July 28th, 2003- From this day forward, I will make myself a better person; I will attain all goals attainable; I will strive for every relationship I have with each person will not only be long-lasting, but better; I will try not to jealous of anyone; I will try not tolerate annoyance and negativity; I will be a better friend to those who have mistrusted me, and to those who don't really seem to care or have patience for me; for the friends that adore me, I will shower them more for being a friend to me; I will be less selfish; I will be less demanding because like they say "Don't expect anything for anyone" or better yet "expect the unexpected"; I will be less of a snob and more of a person that will represent and give new definition to myself; I will be less of a bitch and more of a confidante; I will love the enemies no matter at what frame of mind they may have against me; nor will I belittle anyone and make them less whole than letting them be whole; I will not let little things bother me and consume all my time thinking about it; I will make every effort to contribute to our marriage and make it a proven fact, that I too, knows what it takes to build a long and lasting relationship with my family and husband; depsite the fact that Ron has put so much effort into bringing me down these past couple of weeks, I forgive him, according to God in the bible, that "you not only get one, two, or three chances and you're out, but you get 77 chances"; I will not stress or worry about the little things; I will be more independant; I will be strong for the sake of others; I will not be demanding; I will not invade personal property; I will be a better person, not only for you or anyone else in this world, but be a better person for only myself. If in the end, things don't work out between me and Ron, or with school, or with the relationships I have with family and friends, I can say to myself, "That's okay!". I know I will be alright, I will be capable of handling things on my own, and to just continue on in my journey through life. I will treat each person the way they want to be treated, as God treats me! Changes don't happen over night, they take a lifetime!!!!!! Authorized and Dated By: Lidivette Caramat-Navasca Horoscope for Libra: You will meet someone who can teach you something worthwhile. Love and romance are present, so get together with someone you love. If you are single, the chance of meeting someone is good. 4 stars <> <!--7:48:00 AM-->
<> ~ Peanut Butter Chocolate Persuasion ~ If you haven't yet tried this ice-cream, YOU MUST!!!! It's a definite favorite, I can guarantee you! It's made with real peanut butter, with chunks of chocolate chips, and baby reeces pieces. However, you can only purchase it at M&M's:) ~ 1st Wedding Anniversary ~ Should I even go there? Despite the misunderstandings between me and Ron, it's quite hard to say "Happy 1st anniversary" to someone who can't tolerate my such behavior, which I can't honestly blame him for. I don't think he'll ever be able to love me the way he once did, but I still remain optimistic about things, especially this. I hope that one day, he will be able to revive those feelings that he once had for me and that we can finally come to terms in understanding one another. It's hard to change myself for the better. I guess growing up in a family where I became too dependant was just not enough for myself. Now, that I am here in the "real world", how do I even begin to be "independant". I have so many questions such as "how do let go of something or someone that you love so much?" or "why do people behave the way they do?"; "why do I get jealous too much?"; "why can't I trust my spouse?"; "will I be able to trust him, that's the question!"; okay, I'll stop. I can't just sit here and keep asking these questions, rather, I should start doing something about it, right? Well, only time will tell, right? <> <!--5:01:00 PM-->
<> I guess according it is officially July 28th, 2003. Today marks the 1st anniversary since my wedding date last July 28th, 2002. Although, the passion and charisma has all gone away, I feel as if I still exist there in the past. I hate having to dwell on my past, but, if that is what makes me feel better, than be it, correct? Some people just can't seem to understand that. Its my nature I guess! <> <!--1:01:00 AM-->
<> Mocha Malt Frappucino anyone? It tastes so sweet and extremely good. Today seemed very rushed for me. After mass dismorning I had to rush back to my house to clean the house, then after that I had to pick up some snacks for the facial party, around 6pm we then had the facial gathering; which was quite interesting, actually. I had fun! I think my "male" cousin, Kevin had alot of fun, too!!!! LoL <> <!--12:57:00 AM-->
/archives