-Faculty of Science student @ University of Winnipeg; working towards a degree in Dentistry Occupation: - Administrative Assistant @ Garden City Dental Centre (GCDC); Retail Associate @ Shoe Warehouse -Jetta Volkswagon 2002 (white) owner

Thursday, June 19, 2003

<> what am I feeling today? Well, its hard to say. I don't know whether or not I can believe Ron and his change in life or taking a turn for the better, for that matter. I don't know, I feel as if....you know what, I really and truthfully don't know. I guess I'm not over-analyzing it too much because I need to see it happen first before I can actually believe it. Sometimes I feel that he's just using me because Brad is not here. He confessed to me on Tuesday how he really misses Brad, but, like I mean, what about me? Like it bothers me, but, I save myself the pity and all the heartache. It's really hard to believe that Ron loves me, which I think he doesn't, but, is only trying to make things work between us only because this being his second marriage, I believe he doesn't want it to be a failure. Those are just my thoughts. I'm sure he can find someone elsewhere. I don't understand why he wants to try and work things out. Perhaps, I may just be fearing that there is that possibility of me hurting him again, which I really don't want or intend too for that matter. What to do! <>

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

<> 12:22pm-Ron then came by the office to pick up the cookies, while his visit here, I asked how the interview with Vickar went dismorning at 9:30am? Ron was very excited about it and is determined that this is what he really wants to do. Ron has advancement within this company and that maybe 3-4 years from now he can be capable of making over $100,000 G's. That's pretty good. Ron mentioned to me that the average salesman, the worst (if possible), makes about $4000/monthly. I for one am really excited for Ron as well, he said this is a good turn for the best, and we're working on marriage and hopefully with fate behind us, it will permit us have the life we both longed for. <>

<> Last nite me and Ron had ended up going to Denny's for some of their wings. The wings were awesome. Ron was telling me about this challenge that his one employeel, Kristal, had challenged him to baking. Ron, laughed and said, whatever and that he was capable of doing it. Later that nite he had asked if I would do him the favor of baking for him. Being the dearest friend in the world, I ok'd him and said, "Sure, why not?" Why not? So, indeed I did bake him chocolate chip cookies. Dismorning I had woken up fairly early to see whether I could bake something or not. First, I decided on Cheesecake, unfortunately, we didn't have any cream cheese. Then, I decided to go for something else, and that's when I decided on cookies, because a) they were quick and b) they're simple. Everything was fine right up until I had taken them out of the stove. I tried one, of course, and man, was it ever salty. It was because it had asked in the receipt to put 1 tsp of salt, but not realizing that butter has so much salt already, duh? All in all, Ron still appreciated the favor, and that he said it's just to prove that I would actually bake, not about the taste. <>

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

<> I love Ron Navasca. I love Ron Navasca. I love Ron Navasca. I love Ron Navasca. I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca I love Ron Navasca <>

<> The time is now 1:05pm, gee...time is really not agreeing with me today. I had woken up at about 5:30am and had some trouble trying to get back to sleep. I was tossing and turning, and I couldn't stop thinking about Ron. Perhaps, it was Ron's wake up call for me, paalaming to me, spiritually. I eventually fell back asleep and later ended up waking up at about 9:30am. Jumped up out of bed and ran for the shower, quickly got dressed and then headed to GCDC. I was almost late for my photo shoot. Luckily when I arrived there, the photographer hadn't arrived. After the photo shoot, I ended up going to Lorenz's house to bug Christopher. Fortunately, he was sleeping. I really feel close to that kid, Christopher being my godchild and everything. I guess because when I came home to my ma's house last nite, Christopher was getting ready to go, and then when I walked through the door, he said, "Lidivette!" and came up to me and just started hugging me and became very clingy to me, asking whether or not I was gonna sleep at his house tonite. Got to work at about 11:50pm, only to walk into a phone call, and it was my husband, Ron. I was surprised that he had called me again, twice in a roll. Ron briefly explained how he tried getting a hold of me on my cell phone and left a message. I briefly explained to him that I was charging it. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him for dinner, where we can later discuss some things. I politely asked whether or not it was good or bad, and Ron sounded as if he was hesitating to tell me, but, I asked if he can at least give me the gist of things therefore I can prepare for it. He explained himself, briefly, and said, that he's seeing things differently and would like to work on us first of all, and that I think he's realized that as a person with great ambition, he does have to think family first. I am confident that he realizing all of this now. That he is acting his age and considerating other opportunities out there. He mentioned that he has an interview tomorrow with Larry Vickar, the owner of Chev Old Vickar, and asked if I would support him greatly in this decision as he is really nervous about the interview and about his resignation letter to the EB company. He wanted to know if I would be there during this transition. I said to Ron, that whatever decision you make, I will support you 100%. Even if does decide to reside elsewhere, that I am opened to that opportunity as well. Its about compromise and less about whether the other person would like this position or not. And, compromise is what I am offering to him. I think as a person for my age, the past few days I've learned alot of things. I believe it has made me stronger in the past, but, it has made me above and beyond stronger now. Stronger to the extent where I am capable of navigating life with my significant other, and that it takes two in a marriage, just as much as in raising a family. Last nite at supper, we, me, Ron, and Royce went to Ken's after work, and Ron had mentioned that he's finally realizing that and has put his foot down, and said, that he want a job that is not only stable, but he wants just a regular job from 9-5, 8 hrs long, and more time to spend with family, I hope he was assuming us and our future family. <>

<> ~This is dedicated to my husband, Mr. Ron Navasca~ Take with you all my love, my unconditional love. Take me as I am, just as I've taken you. Take my being for who I am, and for the person who I am set out to be. Take my values, which draw a contentment to yours. I love you, Ron! I just needed to let you know that. No matter where I am in this lifetime and the next, I will always be "in-love" you, and I need you to know that. That I will be hanging on till the end of time. For better or for worse, till death do us part.....love is patient, love is kind, love is not boastful, nor love is not impatient....love is, us! I love you, hon! <>

Monday, June 16, 2003

<> Why do I wear my wedding band? Because it stands as a symbolism of love, fidelity, commitment, honor, and respect. Love- Because you love your mate unconditionally no matter what the complications may be Fidelity- dedicating yourself to that person that you had agreed to marry yourself too Commitment- being not only a supporter, but a friend, a companion, and a soulmate for life, hence growing old together (of course!) Honor- You do it out of honor in God's name Respect- Showing and demonstrating that you have fate and pure respect within the marriage and relationship Ron had called me at about 2:30pm- to call just to say "Hi". He nearly made me cry in happy tears, which I eventually did shortly after our phone conversation. He confessed his love for me by telling me that he still loves me very much, and that he doesn't want to ever loose me, and that he wants us to be happy for the rest of the years to come. I praise and thank the almightly Lord for standing by us through these trying times, and the most difficult one of them all. I believe that God was really testing us and that I know we've passed the test. To my mother, along with my mother-in-law, I know you both are standing behind us through it all and guiding me. Thanks mom for listening everytime I'd come to visit you, I love you, and I love mama, Pillar, may you both RIP.. <>

<> Maria's suggested I keep a watch out for a different turn in life between the dates of June 14th to July 10.2003; and here are the results: June 14th- Ron had called me at about 8:30pm and he asked if I wanted to go for ice-cream with him, I picked him up and we later went to The Forks, then headed to pa's house @ around 10:30-11pm, spoke with his dad for about an hour or two, and we have finally agreed on another thing (other than the divorce), we both agreed that we both had to be patient with one another and that we, me and Ron, both, we can't expect eachother to change over night, as a change doesn't happen drastically, but patiently, and slowly. Ron had mentioned that that was the most civilized comment I had made in the past 6 months. After further discussing our relationship with dad, he made us aware of each of our mistakes and how maybe time apart, or separation for that matter, may be the best remedy. And, that luckily we are going through this now, and not ten years from now. Dad gave me the lecture on "nagging" and that I should try to avoid that as much as possible, because nagging can only make things much worse and that men do try to avoid that by a) going out with friends, b) spending more time at work, or c) spending more time with friends, such as wanting to around people who respect them. So, I felt really good after the conversation because we were taking a piece of mind from dad and he really made us fully aware of our differences and how we should try to aviod them, if we do decide to take different paths in life. It was really funny, because during our conversation about jealousy and how it came to be, Ron had really pointed out a weakness of mine that I always dawned on me everytime I went out with a girlfriend. How he completely trusts me and that I should've been able to have done the same for him 6 months ago. Ron explains himself to "not be jealous" at all, but it was funny, because pa asked if I was currently seeing anyone, or if I intend on doing so? Before I got a chance to even say something, Ron had interupted me and said, "I HOPE NOT!", in a very demanding and yet curious tone of voice. Then, pa turned the conversation around and took a swung at Ron, saying, "I thought you said you're not jealous....", Ron had no response, that he just eventually laughed it off. (At The Forks, Ron had mentioned to me that he had requested for a transfer to Garden City because the manager is going on materity leave and that he will be there for a year, maybe even more for that matter. When asked if he would be returning to his store at KP, he said he wasn't too sure only because when he leaves KP, his assistant manager, Rochelle, will be promoted to Ron's position and that that will no longer be his store, that it will be Rochelle's store. Ron said he had accomplished all the success that EB @ KP can get and that it's now time to seek other major challenges, for example, helping Garden City get off the ground.) I had to put that insert from our conversation at the Forks, only because when Ron had mentioned to pa about the transfer, pa had asked whether or not I still worked at the dental office, I replied "yes". Then, pa suggested Ron that we can have lunch together, Ron replied, "Yes, of course!", then that's when Ron had touched up more on the friendship, that a friendship must really exist before love can exist again. Being friends can only determine whether or not we will fall madly in love all over again. It was a great idea. Really! <>

Sunday, June 15, 2003

<> Happy Father's Day!!!! This goes out to all the "fathers" of the world. Happy Father's Day, most especially to the two father's that mean so much too me, my father or dad, Engr. Manuel Caramat, and my father-in-law, "pa", Mr. Jun Navasca. I love you guys, thank you for all the unconditional love and endless support. Thank You, once again, for everything you've done for me. <>